When most people think of getting a hair cut they look for cute photos, dream about what color they’re going to get this time, or look forward to the relief a trim will bring. It’s fun, exciting even, at times.
When I think about getting a hair cut it is not the carefree event most would think it to be. I get nervous. I second-guess my decision, and even my desire to get it cut. I ask myself if I am dishonoring my husband by wanting a shorter cut when I know he prefers my hair long. I get irritated with myself because, while I do find cute photos, daydream about color, and look forward to the relief a cut will bring, I don’t really enjoy myself along the journey.
As I’ve been contemplating getting quite a drastic cut over the last couple of weeks, I have felt all of the above and then some. Conversations about hair have turned into difficult discussions about my insecurities, my lack of confidence, my inability and sometimes refusal to own my own feelings and be okay in my own skin. My husband has even reminded me that when I curse the way I am created that I am cursing my creator
This was never my intention and I grieve over the truth of it.
I have known for quite some time that I had my husband in the place of God for a long time in our marriage. Even though I have had a relationship with Jesus for years, I was putting my husband before him. We have been working on getting our priorities straight and more and more I have learned to seek God first and then my husband. However, God is still revealing to me the places in my life where I am not allowing him to be on His throne. It just struck me this morning, as I prepare to take “my long walk” (getting my hair cut)as I have dubbed it (I’ll have to explain all that on a different day), that I have allowed this whole haircut thing to become an idol.
You may have idols in your life like I have without even realizing it.
Though my heart has been in the right place towards my husband……I wanted to please him…..I am coming to understand that my response to getting a haircut is not the usual. Of course, everyone wants to be complimented on their new ‘do’. But they don’t become paralyzed and unable to make a decision. I have heard the words “it’s just hair” come out of my husband’s mouth more times than I can tell you. But we have had to go deeper than that. His feeling the need to tell me “I will still love you if you have short hair” has given me pause.
I didn’t believe him. Subconsciously I thought that his love for me would change. I was living as if a simple haircut, a change in style, was going to define who I am to him. But it doesn’t. And it doesn’t change who I am in Christ.
Today I am letting go of my wrong thinking about this. I am actively living loved in this thing. This seemingly complicated decision to change my hairstyle is going to become simple.
It is just hair.
My hairstyle will no longer be the idol I have let it become.
God is still on His throne.
Have you discovered any idols in your life? Perhaps think about this for a moment. Ask God to give you a clean heart and to reveal to you any areas of your life where you’ve not allowed Him to be Lord.
Psalm 51:10 (KJV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Have you been following along with my Living Loved series?
Be sure to subscribe to Purpose Living Wife so you don’t miss a single update!
Are you the parent, grandparent, sibling, or friend of a person on the autism spectrum? To connect with families who are taking the autism journey with you, come on over and check out our community page on Facebook. We would love to meet you and your family!