What we believe about ourselves affects what we believe about others. I am learning this more and more as I work through some of my own issues. As I have shared previously, I was assaulted as a child. This event in my life has affected me way more than I ever even knew. I have just begun to realize how much over the course of the last two years, especially within the last 10 months.
Walking through the trauma, the often unreasonable fears I have about otherwise normal activities, can be trying. My emotions get out of whack, I become overwrought, and my husband often bears the brunt of it. He doesn’t have the answers I need and often He is left feeling helpless. He simply wants me to be happy. Generally, I am, but when I am dealing with some feeling from the past or just realizing that a certain fear I have stems from my past, things can get hairy.
I know truth. I know that God loves me. I believe it. I trust God. I know that His plans are good, that He is for me, and that no matter what has happened or ever happens to me He will never forsake me. He’s my Savior. It’s in the living out of it that I sometimes get lost. There is an enemy that prowls around looking for someone to devour. He wants to steal, kill, and destroy, and he knows my weaknesses. He knows yours.
Something I am trying to learn, and what I believe God wants me to learn through this entire series on living loved, is that God in me is greater than the enemy. Again, I know this…in my mind. But when satan brings a picture and shoves it in my face of what my life used to be, something my husband did, how an extended family member has treated me, he wants me to believe that that picture, that mistake, mistreatment, assault, is all that I will ever be. He taunts me with the thought that I can never be good enough. He tells me I am damaged. He puts thoughts in my head that simply are not true. Some days I recognize them for what they are. Other days, I have to really fight to see the truth. If I am not diligent in renewing my mind, daily; in listening to truth from those wiser than me; if I don’t truly hear my husband’s heart, I can quickly spiral downward into depression. And I begin to believe untruths.
My desire is to get to that place where my eyes are so fixed on Jesus, on His love for me, that no one can tempt me to look elsewhere, to believe anything other than what He tells me. To believe only the words from Him about Who and Whose He says I am.
I love this song by Steffany Gretzinger, No Fear in Love.
So what is the key to living loved in every day life?
Fix your eyes on Jesus.
Have you seen the rest of my series on Living Loved? We are learning together all about what God says about love.
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