Do you ever experience days when you feel simply overwhelmed with your own brokenness? I do. Actually, I have been feeling that way lately as we have entered another period of marriage ministry. This is a ministry which we have come to be very passionate about, yet it can also be hard on a marriage. We must be ever-diligent because satan is always on the prowl, looking for ways to sneak into our relationship. As we seek to be transparent about our own lives and to point others to the Savior, he seeks to destroy us however he can.
God has done such healing in our own relationship ~ between my husband and me ~ the overwhelm is not about where we have been so much as how far He has brought us! As we recently shared our story with a small group, I winced several times throughout the parts when my husband was speaking. Not because he said anything that was untrue or pronounced anything incorrectly. No, it was because what he said about me and the state of our relationship at the time was the absolute truth. It was so very difficult to hear him say some of those things. And embarrassing. I really behaved like that; I really did say those things. I am heartbroken, but eternally grateful that we are no longer living in that place of bitterness and unforgiveness in our lives.
Instead, I am so very thankful that we do not have to stay in that place…that we didn’t. God lifted us up out of our mess. He continues to do so. He allows us to lay down our burdens, to come just as we are, in all of our brokenness, to His throne of Grace and Mercy.
As we have moved into honest, open, and transparent communication in our relationship, we have experienced some hurts. Humans as a whole have big feelings, and we have been no different in that respect. However, how we deal with one another IS now different. We are able to extend grace to one another more readily. We are truly friends at this point, so there is trust on both sides that our spouse truly does care and only wants what is best. We are learning how to work out problems, become better parents, to walk closer with our God as individuals and together. We’re becoming one!
God is using the areas in our lives that have been the most hurtful, the most filled with sorrow, to bring us great joy. The more we realize His great love for us….that He bought us for a price….the more humbled we become in His presence. At His continued presence and healing in our lives. His endless, relentless, limitless pursuit of us.
[Tweet “God has broken the chains that we had so tightly wound around ourselves.”]
Jesus, our help, is guiding us both to see that we are overcomers and that it is ALL because of Him, due to the freedom that we have found in letting go and surrendering to His Lordship in our lives.
As we continue to seek God’s healing in every area of our lives, we are also moving into relationships with other people with whom we are privileged to share the God-story that He has written in our lives. Our hope is to allow God to use our brokenness to encourage others that there is hope, help, and healing found only in Him.
Below are a few ways that we have found to do this.
Pouring Into Others Out of Our Brokenness
Honesty We must first be honest with one another. No secrets. This is paramount to success in our relationship. Honesty with other couples simply means we are not perfect and we do our best not to portray ourselves that way. We’re honest about where we are and where we have been.
Open-ness The definition I liked best when I Googled the term, and which I think fits best, is “exposed to the air or to view; not covered.” We mustn’t cover up or hide from one another. There are times when I want to, but knowing how far God has brought me, I try not to give in to that feeling. Satan desires it because he knows it may keep us from victory in our marriage as well as from sharing with others and pointing them to God and victory, as well. Our desire is to bring glory to Jesus, as He is the reason we are successful in anything.
Transparency This is the quality that first encouraged my husband and I to move closer to one another, to God, and to other people, even in the midst of our most sorrowful moments. Church leaders and friends pointed first to their own brokenness and then to the One Who healed them. We are striving to do the same as we follow His leading and share with others about our ‘junk’ and the amazing restoration that has taken place. Only God.
Have you allowed God to use your broken places to point others to Him? Tell me about what He has done! If you haven’t, consider what might be stopping you from leaning into Him.
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Need some marriage resources? Here are two our favorites!
Oh, and don’t miss the 31 Days to a Better Marriage series that is going on this month over at Managing Your Blessings. I count myself blessed to have one of my posts included.
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